The Jokes Network

SUBSCRIBE ::

Enter your email for our daily jokes newsletter:

Viewing Joke:
Category:	Bar jokes beer booze and fun
Date Added:	11/10/2007
Rating:
Views:	85

Joke:	A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. Im so mad, I cant even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, "Gimme another one." The bartender pours the drink, but says, "Now, before I give you this, why dont you let off a little steam and tell me why youre so upset?"So, the man begins his tale. "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, "Wow, this has never happened before." You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if Id like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldnt believe this was happening, r and I hadnt had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand and starts walking out of the bar. This seemed just too good to be true."He continued, "She took me down the street here to a nice hotel and up to her room. She said to relax, watch some TV, and that she would be ready to go down to the restaurant in a few minutes. But, as soon as I put my feet up and reclined my chair, I heard some keys jingling and someone starts fumbling with the door.""The blonde says, Oh my god, its my boyfriend. He must have lost his wrestling match tonight, hes gonna be real mad. Quick, hide!""So, I opened the closet, but I figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didnt hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but no, I figured hes bound to look there, too. By now, I could hear the key in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and wa s hanging there by my fingers, praying that the guy wouldnt see me."The bartender says "Well I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this point.""Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out, Who you been with now, you witch? The girl says, Nobody, honey, now calm down."Well, the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across the room. Im thinking, Boy, Im glad I didnt hide in there. Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good thing I didnt hide under there either. Then I heard him say, Whats that over there by the window? I think, Oh God, Im dead meat now. But, the blonde by now is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking. Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom and I hear water running for a long time; I figure maybe hes gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head. I mean, look at this, I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!"The bartender says, "Oh man, that would have gotten me mad for sure." "No, that didnt really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. Theyre a bloody mess. I can hardly hold onto this glass."The bartender looks at the guys hands and says, "Yeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so upset.""No, that wasnt what really got me so angry though."The bartender then asks in exasperation, "Well, then, what did finally make you anger?""Well, I was hanging on the window, and I turned around and looked down--I was only about six inches off the ground."

	Add to del.icio.us Digg this Reddit

More Bar Jokes Beer Booze And Fun:

1.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	A man walks into a bar and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this over and over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and after drinking it he looks into his pocket. the man responded " i have a picture of m... more
2.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. "What will you have?" the bartender asked. "Ill have a glass of blood," the first replied. "Ill have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second. "Ill hav... more
3.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	Where do Martians drink beer ?At a mars bar !... more
4.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. Im so mad, I cant even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of... more
5.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squ... more
6.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldnt walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket a... more
7.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"The girl says, "I dont like this song, but even if I did, I wouldnt dance with you."The guy says, "Im sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in thos... more
8.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	"Shhaaayyy, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive... more
9.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00."But I paid, dont you remember?" says the customer. "Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did." The man then goes outs... more
10.	Category: Bar jokes beer booze and fun
	A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, Id see four!" The bar... more